Five stages of grief – By: Elisabeth kübler Ross

                                                        

EKR stage: Interpretation

1 – Denial:Denial is a conscious or unconscious refusal to accept facts, information, reality, etc., relating to the situation concerned. It’s a defence mechanism and perfectly natural. Some people can become locked in this stage when dealing with a traumatic change that can be ignored. Death of course is not particularly easy to avoid or evade indefinitely.

2 – Anger: Anger can manifest in different ways. People dealing with emotional upset can be angry with themselves, and/or with others, especially those close to them. Knowing this helps keep detached and non-judgemental when experiencing the anger of someone who is very upset.

3 – Bargaining : Traditionally the bargaining stage for people facing death can involve attempting to bargain with whatever God the person believes in. People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek to negotiate a compromise. For example “Can we still be friends?..” when facing a break-up. Bargaining rarely provides a sustainable solution, especially if it’s a matter of life or death.

4- Depression: Also referred to as preparatory grieving. In a way it’s the dress rehearsal or the practice run for the ‘aftermath’ although this stage means different things depending on whom it involves. It’s a sort of acceptance with emotional attachment. It’s natural to feel sadness and regret, fear, uncertainty, etc. It shows that the person has at least begun to accept the reality.

5 – Acceptance : Again this stage definitely varies according to the person’s situation, although broadly it is an indication that there is some emotional detachment and objectivity. People dying can enter this stage a long time before the people they leave behind, who must necessarily pass through their own individual stages of dealing with the grief.

November 14, 2007;7:23 am

Hello!Its a cold rainy, thursday morning here, a lovely day and its nice to feel the raindrops falling . Life is like a rain that shower’s  life, nourishes plants and creat a cold atmosphere. Every man’s existence adds glory to mankind, whilst, showers and enlighten’s wicked mind, guides the misleaded and strenghtens the weak. Be a man’s intrument of life. Make yourself an intrument of love and witnesses of goodness. Be yourself! Keep on smiling in the midst of adversity. Just smile at the problem that come and go in our life since it is part of life. Sleep on it, not with it. We just make sure that we always do what we think is good and worthwhile without stepping other person’s toes. ” HONESTE VIVERE,ALTERUM NON LAEDERE, JUS SUUM QUIQUE TRIBURE.” To live honorably not to injure others, and to render to every man his due.

Lets talk about STRESS

	ABC’s of Stress
	The ABC’S of Stress Signs and Symptoms A Anxiety, apprehension, addiction, arguments, apathy, abuse B Boredom, back-biting, backache, blues, blahs C Colds, canker sores, claustrophobia, compulsiveness, crying spells, cynicism, claming up, conflict confusion D Drinking, drugs, depression, diarrhea, divorce, distrust, defensiveness E Edginess, emptiness, explosive temper, excuses, evasiveness, exhausted F Fear, forgetfulness, flu, fatigue, frustration, flushed face G Guilt, gas, grudges, gambling addictions, grief, griping, grouchy H Hopelessness, heart attack, high blood pressure, headaches, hurried I Indigestion, insomnia, irritability, irrational thoughts, indecision, intolerance J Judgmental stance, joylessness, jitters, juggling various tasks K Know-it-all attitude, knots in stomach or back, keyed up, knee-jerk reactions L Loneliness, lowered libido, lethargy, lashing out, lack of concentration M Muscle twitches, martyrdom, mood swings, marital conflict, melancholy N Nagging, negative attitude, nightmares, nervousness, needing to prove something O Ornery, out of touch, out of control, obligated, over-extended, overeater, overweight, overbearing, overachiever, oppositional, obsessive-compulsive P Panic, pounding heart, put-downs, poor judgment, pushing too hard, preoccupied Q Quiet, quick to take offense, questioning, queasy stomach, quivers, quarrelsome, qualms, quagmires of problems, quick-tempered R Rudeness, rash behavior, resentment, righteous indignation S Sulking, stewing, spiritual void, self-recriminations, stomach complaints, sleeplessness T Temper tantrums, too much to do, tension, trouble setting priorities U Unhappiness, unforgiving spirit, uncertainty, unproductive approach to work, unrealistic expectations, ulcers V Volatile, vague aches & pains, values confusion, vacillating, vertigo, violence W Weight gain/loss, whirling mind, worrying, wasting time, wallowing in self-pity X X-tra pounds, x-travagant living, x-cessive debts, x-cessess in many areas Y Yelling, yawns, “yeah-buts,” yowling, yearning for yesterday Z Zillions of things undone, zero energy, zero tolerance The ABC’s of Stress Management A Affirmations, assertiveness, acceptance, active, accomplishments, admits mistakes B Balancing roles & tasks, boundaries, bio-feedback (listen to your body) C Conflict resolution, commitment, confession, concern for self & others D Diversions, daydreaming, determination, dancing, doing it now E Exercise, expressing love & affection, examining priorities, enthusiasm F Faith, flexibility, fun, friendships, family, forgiveness, finding alternatives G God, getaways, goal-setting, give-and-take, grace under fire, guidance from others H Humor, hugs, healthy eating habits, healthy lifestyle, hobbies, home management I Imagination, individuality, information, insight, implements plans, intimacy J Joy, jogging, jazz, judicious decisions, joining organizations K Know yourself, keeping promises, knowledge, kisses, kneading dough, knitting L Listening, limits, learning, loving, labors of love, laughter, laid-back attitude M Meditation, music, money management, marital harmony, moderation N Networking, nutrition, nurturing self, nicotine-free, noticing progress, “no” O Openness to change, organization, objectivity, observant, opportunities taken P Prayer, praise, priorities, physical fitness, problem-solving, proper perspective Q Quiet time, quit when necessary, quick-witted, quality vs quantity, quilting R Rest, reading, relaxing, respect for self & others, rich relationships, realistic S Spirituality, surrender, sharing, support, seek help, soul-searching, smiling T Teamwork, togetherness, trust, touch, time management, taking charge of own problems U Utilizing unique talents, unity of purpose, utilizes available resources V Values self & others, versatility, visualization, values clarified, volunteers, vacations W Worship, wisdom, working smarter, weight management, waits patiently, walking X X-citement, x-celling, x-change of ideas, x-cursions, x-hilarated Y You, yawn, “yes” management, young-at-heart, yesterdays left in the past Z Zest for life, zero procrastination, zing, zip, zeal

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How to detect cheating wifes or girlfriend

Women often follow a common pattern in relationships that leads to cheating wives.

She meets a man and falls in love.
She marries or moves in with the man and gets, or tries to get, a commitment.
Normal problems occur.
She becomes angry and resentful, blaming her partner for all problems.
She loses interest in sex.
She is attracted to someone else.
She begins to cheat or commit adultery.
She requests time away from the marital relationship.
After a period of time, she ends the marriage or relationship.

Most men never suspect their wife of cheating or committing marital infidelity because of the woman’s disinterest in sex and the fact that he believes her to be “moral” (i.e.; faithful).  For many men discovering a cheating wife shocks them to the core.  This pattern is likely to continue as research shows that nearly as many women as men cheat or commit adultery.  Over 70% of women are instigators in divorce.  Why does this pattern occur?

According to research, many beliefs about women’s sexuality are wrong.  Apparently, neither women nor men understand why women cheat or how to avoid it.  Why, then, does marital infidelity happen?  One reason may be that women, who have been in a relationship for a few years, experience a pre-midlife crisis, a crisis of boredom and unfulfilled expectations of marriage that often leads to a search for a solution.  Unfortunately, many women blame their husbands for the crisis and think that another man is the solution.  An affair ensues, often leading to divorce.  This is not the only reason why wives cheat, but it is a major one, along with marrying too young, marrying someone the opposite in personality and life goals, and men’s midlife crises.  Research continues on ways for women to avoid the pre-midlife crisis and the cheating that may follow.

Signs of a Cheating Wife or Girlfriend

Here are some of the most common signs of a cheating wife or girlfriend.

1.  She is emotionally distant.
2.  She buys new underwear and/or clothes.
3.  She sets up a new, secret e-mail account.
4.  She goes out “with the girls” and comes home hours later.
5.  Her husband finds birth-control pills in the medicine cabinet and he has had a vasectomy.
6.  She sets up a secret, cell phone account, billed to her office or a secret credit card.
7.  She joins a gym.
8.  The toilet seat is up when her husband comes home.
9.  She loses her wedding ring or “it wears through.”
10.  She deletes all incoming phone calls from caller ID, the phone message machine, her cell messages, and her e-mail.
11.  She becomes suspicious of her husband, due to her own guilt.
12.  She asks what he would do if she “died.”
13.  She takes the car seat and kids’ toys out of her car.
14.  She has hickies or bruises on her neck or arms.
15.  She stops having sex with her husband for a ridiculous reason.
16.  She starts fights to get out of the house and “go to Linda’s” or the mall.
17.  She took a day off, but didn’t tell her husband.
18.  Her colleagues are uncomfortable around her husband.
19.  She’s on the computer a lot after her husband goes to bed.
20.  She’s away from home, overnight.
21.  Her husband finds small items he didn’t give her.
22.  She’s nervous, irritable, and loses her temper often.
23.  Telephone callers hang up when her husband answers.
24.  She stops paying close attention to events in the family.
25.  Intuition (gut feeling) tells her husband something’s wrong.
26.  Her attitude towards everyone changes.
27.  She speaks very softly on the phone or hangs up quickly.
28.  She is “glowing.”
29.  She’s disorganized.
30.  She sleeps with her purse beside the bed.
31.  She criticizes her husband to others.
32.  The telltale sign of a cheating wife is having to ask if she’s cheating.

Use these possible reasons and signs of a cheating wife to be aware of what is happening in the marriage, possibly adultery or infidelity.  Perhaps, the marriage can be saved and much heartache avoided.

UNSA ANG COUNSELLING?

• Ang Counseling kay usa ka pamaagi sa lawom nga pakig-uban paingon sa pag bag-o
• Not advising
• Para aha?, sa mga problematic, confused ( has bitterness about life, has difficulty in coping)

How?

1. Paghatag og bili o importansya nga walay kondisyon( Unconditional Positive Regards)
a. Mainiton nga pagdawat og pagpaminaw, dili mangita dayon ug sayop, dili maghukom;

b. Magsalig sa katakos sa counsellee mahitungod sa pagbag-o

c. Timbang-timbangon ang gisulti sa counsellee

2. Pakigbati ( EMPTHY)

a. Musulod sa kinahiladman sa counselee;

b. Batiun ang gibati sa counsellee

3. Pagkamatinud- anun ( CONGRUENCE)

a. Pagkamatinud anun sa gibati sa counsellee;

b. kinahanglan nga dili mawala sa kaugalingon ang counselor bisan nga nakigduyog siya sa gibati sa counsellee( control emotional involvement)

THE COUNSELING PROCESS

I. Establishment of rapport( Pagpahiluna)

Tagaan ang counsellee ug panahon nga mahimong komportabli ug gaan ang kaugalingon aron maatabangan siya sa pag-abli.

II. Catharsis( Pagpagawas sa kahigwaos) and Ventilation ( Sakit sa kabubot-on)

Kini ang higayon nga tabangan ang counselee nga maipagawas ang mga suliran nga gidala aron magaan-gaan ang iyang dughan. Kung lawom kaayo ang suliran o kaha nagkapatong-patong na,kini muabot og daghang session ,kini pud ang tagaan og taas nga ana-ang.

III. Metanoia ( Pagpatin-aw sa Panlantaw)

IV. Pagbag-o sa direksyon

V. Tasking( Paghimo sa Tumong)

VI. Acting( Paghimo)

COUNSELOR-COUNSELLEE CONTRACT OF AGREEMENT
Consider the way you might contract to work with a client,how you introduce or explain .

1. Your self

2. What counselling is all about.

3. The Boundaries of confidentiality

4. The duration and frequency of session

5. What you expect of your client ( re: cancell appointments,etc.)

6 . Any procedure relating to above

7. any Additional matters that you think are important

 

The Crucial Role of The Social Worker

        The role of the social worker in our developing community has become indispensable. Their role has moved away from one of expediency in to one of necessity.

With the wide range of social welfare programs available, many social workers are finding themselves working with the community in an assortment of diverse settings. From the physical and mental health services, to their invaluable contributions through their work with the ministry, the social worker has been granted the ability to help rebuild and maintain the lives of those individuals who require their services.

As explained in the social workers code of ethics (1994) “The profession of social work is founded on humanitarian and egalitarian ideals. Social workers believe in the intrinsic worth and dignity of every human being and are committed to the values of acceptance, self-determination and respect of individuality. They believe in the obligation of all people, individually and collectively, to provide resources, services and opportunities for the overall benefit of humanity.” Though their work they are able to assess, aid and prevent social problems for those in the community through direct and indirect involvement.

Importance of Social Work

Social work

        Social work is an exciting, demanding and immensely rewarding profession. It requires uncommon dedication to strive for social reform. The world needs people who are committed to the needs of others. Social workers attend to those in distress and identify and remedy the social ill that rob people of their dignity and prevent them from achieving their full potential. Social work is a profession for those with a strong desire to improve peoples lives. Social workers help people function the best way they can in their environment, deal with their relationships, and solve p personal and family problem rang .ms. Social workers have many different aspects of their jobs including the duties and responsibilities involved, employment and salarySocial work is a profession for those who desire to help improve people’s lives. Social workers often see clients who face a life-threatening disease or a social problem. These problems may include inadequate housing, unemployment, lack of job skills, financial distress, serious illness or disability, substance abuse, unwanted pregnancy, or anti-social behavior. Social workers also assist families that have serious domestic conflicts, including those with child or abuse from a spouse.

CONFLICT RESOLUTION (CHILDREN)

Rule #1. NO BLAMING

It takes two to have an argument.

Rule# 2. HAVE THE CHILDREN SIT AND TAKE TURNS QUIETLY TALKING ABOUT THE PROBLEM

Rule#3. NO NAME CALLING AND NO INTERRUPTION WHEN EACH ONE IS TALKING

Rule#4. ASK WHAT ARE WAYS THEY CAN RESOLVE THE PROBLEM

Rule#5. IF THEY ARE ABLE TO CHOOSE A SOLUTION THE SESSION IS OVER

Rule#6. IF THERE IS NO AGREEMENT, THE TWO HAVE A “TIME- OUT”

Classification of Problem in a Social Work Intervention

1. Immediate Problem

• A problem which the client is most concern

• A problem that is causing the current difficulties

2. Underlying Problem

• The over all situation that creates and tends to perpetuate the immediate problems.

3. working Problem

• Those contributory factor that stand in the way of both remedy and prevention which must be dealt with.